Friday, August 30, 2013

The Professional Heckler: DELICADEZA? (THE NERVE!)

DELICADEZA? (THE NERVE!)

1KA SELF-PROCLAIMED “independent group” of congressmen wants Commission on Audit Chief Grace Pulido-Tan to resign after she admitted that COA’s report on the pork barrel spending of lawmakers contained two clerical errors. In case you didn’t know, that “independent” group is composed of infallible solons who are potential candidates for the papacy and years from now, for sainthood.
Leyte Representative Martin Romualdez who heads the group says COA chief Grace Pulido-Tan has done “irreparable damage” to Congress. What’s there to damage?
According to a bloc of congressmen, COA chief Grace Pulido-Tan should resign “out of delicadeza.” To which the public said, “You first!”
Dear Mr. Romualdez, if government people who have done “irreparable damage” to Congress must quit, what the fuck are you guys still doing there?
A group of solons called on COA Chief Grace Pulido-Tan to quit “out of delicadeza.”
“Dear Mr Romualdez,
Huwag mong gamitin ang aking pangalan. Hindi kita kilala!
Sincerely,
Delicadeza”
In case you’ve forgotten, Martin Romualdez was the congressman who paid for the $20,000 dinner (roughly P880,000) of Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and company in Manhattan’s Le Cirque restaurant in 2009. That’s how you repair the image of Congress, right?
Context
Cavite Rep. Lani Mercado who got flak for saying “Basta ‘wag silang (constituents) hihingi sa amin!” – as a response to the proposed pork barrel abolition insisted that she wastaken out of context. In two words, damage control.
Pork Poll
A survey conducted by Inquirer.Net showed 96.2 percent of Filipinos wanted the pork barrel abolished. The rest were lawmakers and their cohorts.
Suits
Fugitive businesswoman Janet ‘Jenny’ Lim-Napoles has filed four libel suits against journalists, a blogger and a fashion designer. She is seeking a total of 40 million pesos in damages from the respondents. Again, 40 million pesos. Or in Napoles’ terms, “22 Porsches.”
According to Janet Napoles, her daughter Jeane got sick after she read reports on her lavish lifestyle. Well, her lavishness was sickening.
Janet Napoles sued Rappler’s Natashya Gutierrez and a blogger for making public Jeane Napoles’ profligate lifestyle. If Janet Napoles is serious in seeking justice, she should sue her daughter too.
Suits
Reports say if Janet ‘Jenny’ Lim-Napoles would surrender, authorities may use her as a state witness. Filipinos are in a state of shock.
President Aquino has announced a 10 million-peso reward for any information that would lead to the arrest of Janet Lim-Napoles. What’s the bounty for when you could simply ask the senators?
A 10 million-peso reward has been put up for information that would lead to the arrest of Janet Napoles. Psst! Kapunan, kagatin mo na!

Yachts, Denials
Latest reports say Janet Napoles may have escaped using one of three luxury yachts docked at the Manila Yacht Club. Both the authorities and the businesswoman are facing tough challenges: for the DOJ, it’s how to find her; for Napoles, it’s how to pronounce ‘yacht.’
Lorna Kapunan insists Janet Napoles doesn’t own a yacht. To be fair, she owns thegovernment.
On Wednesday, lawyer Lorna Kapunan denied that Napoles owned luxury yachts. She reiterated that her client wasn’t involved in the pork barrel scam, and she denied knowing her whereabouts. Survey: Sinong naniniwala sa mga sinabi ni Lorna Kapunan? Itaas ang kanang kamay… ‘tapos, sampalin nang malakas ang sarili!
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“It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.”
~H. L. Mencken
Sound Bites
“What will happen if we will not take a direct hand (in the identification of projects)? Let’s just abolish Congress then.”
~ Senate President Franklin Drilon
“If members of Congress had any sense, they should just surrender on the PDAF issue and concentrate on legislation. Or if they’re interested in getting rich, they should just quit Congress and join the private sector or join the Abu Sayyaf in the hostage-taking business. In fact, what Napoles’ accomplices in Congress engaged in was pirate capitalism that is hardly different from the entrepreneurial activities of the Abu Sayyaf.”
~ Akbayan Rep. Walden Bello
Die pork scammers, die! ♥

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